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Fuck. Well hell. Maybe I’ll take responsibility for myself and actually advertise myself as a narcissist on those dating websites that seem to be everywhere these days. See what happens if I warn girls that I have high standards even though really I’m nothing special myself (there’d be no reason to tell women that!) and that I’ll start out treating them like a princess and before they know it, they’ll be acting like my personal sex slave. How’s that for embracing my narcissism?I put my list away again but this time, I came back to it the very next day and I used it while crafting what I thought of as a ‘joke’ advertisement. Thinking about what I was writing made me horny and the nastier it got, the more I wanted to jerk off. My only limitation was what I believed I could get away with and still have my advertisement published. This is what I wrote:Daddy is looking for his princess. Only apply if you are submissive, masochistic and eager to please. You will learn how to serve my every. My gnarled fingers clench into fists when I shake them at the sky, a curse to the God who took him from me and left me to become this broken old woman.My hair no longer glistens blue in the light of the moon. He said it was black as the gypsy night while his fingers played in the dark curls. In his coffin I placed the shorn tresses, my homage to the love we shared. When it grew back, it was the color of the ashes that I scrape from the hearth. It now sweeps the ground when I walk, never again cut as I wait for him.His eyes were so unlike mine, black and burning with a flame so brilliant that he drove out the darkness. My eyes are no longer bright. The lonely vigil has taken the light away. Once he called them golden, now they are a dull brown.Will he find me ugly now that I'm old? I had the softest skin, now weathered by time and isolation. I still feel his fingers tracing a path of fire, his lips scorching me, branding my flesh as his. Even now, my body stirs at those memories. Even.
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